he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
