Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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