I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
