New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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