Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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