the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
