some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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