so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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