i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
