p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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