Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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