my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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