did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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