maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
