Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
