White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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