The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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