she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum