Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something

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(804): View more from Virginia

she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.

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(207): View more from Maine

Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.

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(407): View more from Florida

I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Fair enough.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family

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