just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
