I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
