she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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