Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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