Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
