dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
