Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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