i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
