Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
