Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
