her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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