Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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