I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
