I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
