I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I could fuck to npr.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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