But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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