i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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