Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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