You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I pour the whiskey from now on
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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