can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
