You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
