He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
