took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
