Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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