so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.