I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled