nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
