did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize