I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
