i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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