Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
