I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
