dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
