whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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