I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
