Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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