I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
