So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
