I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
