I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
