Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
