Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
