He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize