omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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