1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
